This is a headline for a blog post about writing headlines.
Right, let’s put it out there. I love writing headlines.
Along with writing straplines and naming brands, it’s just about the funnest bit of the job.
It’s also one of the toughest – encapsulating an idea and tone of voice in as few words as possible.
Headlines do all the heavy lifting. It’s nearly always the first thing your reader sees. If it doesn’t suck ’em in, sell ’em on something, make ’em fall in love with you or want to know more, you’re stuffed.
Practice makes perfect
Goodness knows how many headlines I’ve written over the years. It has to be in the thousands. And now that I spend most of my time working on brand voice stuff, I’m writing wads of the damn things.
When I’m establishing a brand tone of voice, one of the exercises is often writing a ‘messaging matrix’ of some sort or other. In essence, this is a list of headline ideas that sit under a bunch of topics – the sort of things that the brand will likely need to talk about. F’rexample, a company may need to pipe up about how supportive they are, how much cheaper their products are, how eco-friendly they are…
Under each pillar they may (or may not) need to talk to different audiences e.g. staff, customers, investors… I’ll come up with a load of headline ideas that convey those messaging pillars in the tone I’m trying to get across.
And when you write so many headlines, inevitably some fall through the cracks. Maybe I’ve written more headlines than the client really needs (over-delivery is my middle name). Maybe the client isn’t quite as brave as they thought they were. Maybe they loved it, but then showed it to a committee who felt they had to reject something, because, well you know what people are like.
Whatever the reason, the headline graveyard I’m sitting on is massive. And in my opinion, some of them are real beauties that really deserve a life in the world beyond my hard drive.
So, here we go. Here’s a few of my favourite outcast headlines for you to throw cabbages at.
B2C luxury residences:
If you were born with a silver spoon,
why would you hold it yourself?
B2C solicitor’s family law department:
Separating fact from friction
B2C healthy cat food:
Is it time to change your cat?
B2B digital commerce platform:
Move your bottom line a little bit higher
B2C anti-hangover drink:
For house-trained party animals
B2B ethical funding for startups:
Supporting the little guys with the big ideas
B2B model-making agency:
“Trust us”, said the man with his hands inside a unicorn’s bumhole
B2B firm of architects:
We design with our ears
B2C digital wellbeing music app:
The music app that retunes your mind
B2B content agency:
Guff, cobblers and claptrap
B2B high-end office building:
You could call it a building.
You could also call the Maldives the seaside.
B2C environmental charity:
Has your steak been butchered with a chainsaw?
B2B design agency:
You’re perfect as you aren’t
Thankfully not every headline I write ends up in the recycling bin.
Here are a few headlines that escaped into the real world – run free my little ones.
Of course, every headline needs some kind of call to action too, so:
If you need a bit of headline copywriting wizardry as part of your creative brief, ahem, gizzabell.
Love and patience.
Jonathan x
Jonathan Wilcock (that’s me) is a Senior Freelance Copywriter.
You can drop me a line here, or email jonathan@sowhatif.co.uk