Copywriters on the rack #20: Felicity Wild

Hello and welcome to Copywriters on the Rack. Let’s see if we can wipe that smile off your face…

Right. Who are you and what do you do to pay the bills?

I’m Felicity Wild and I make a living as a freelance creative copywriter, wrangling people’s wild ideas into words that make them money.

What was your career path to get to where you are now?

My career path has been a bit of a meander from an English teacher in Paris through a handful of general marketing roles before finally specialising in copywriting. I worked in-house first and went freelance in 2016 because I wanted a shot at running the show.

What’s the best thing about your job?

Walking away from work that makes my soul cry.

What’s the worst?

When clients go bad.

How do you fill the gaps when you’re not doing the day job?

Hiking, rock climbing, paddle boarding, camping, snowboarding, wild swimming. I’m insufferably outdoorsy.

Well hopefully, this has got you feeling nice and claustrophobic, so now we’ve got the formalities out of the way, let’s go rogue.

What was your nickname at school?

Flick was the only one I knew about. I gave off strong horse girl vibes and was a bit of a swot so who knows what I was called behind my back—kids are mean.

Well you’re giving off horse girl vibes now, or is that the smell of fear? I digress – write me a poem about REGRET

There once was a lady named Bett
Who made a promise to never regret
She lived her life free
Like a bird or a bee
And all while not breaking a sweat

I originally tried to write a haiku but it got a bit deep and morbid.

What’s the stupidest thing you did as a teenager?

I was a thoroughly sensible teenager, thank you very much. My twenties, however…

Who would win in a fight, Pete Doherty’s hamster or Harry Styles’ guinea pig?

I’ve got a feeling both would be lovers rather than fighters.

Write me three straplines for:

1) Pet cryogenics
Put your precious pooch on ice

2) Oral-B’s new dual-purpose toilet/tooth brush
Tough on plaque and your immune system

3) Margaret’s Magical World of Cheese
Fifty shades of gruyere

What would you like to come back as, if there’s a next time?

Erm, I’m not sure I want to see what the future holds to be totally honest.

Well, your immediate future involves drawing me a picture of a pangolin doing The Times crossword (yes I know you’re a writer, but do it anyway).

Copywriting is like juggling piranhas, discuss.

You need to know which is the bitey end, for clients and piranhas.

What is love?

Nothing like a Disney film. More like a comfortable old pair of shoes.

Pick a random pic from your camera roll and tell us about it.

We keep chickens and I send my partner the “oeuf o’clock news” every day when they lay.

Write me a very short story featuring: Brian Blessed, a chesty cough and a shop soiled packet of Jammy Dodgers.

Once, in my village shop, Brain Blessed tried to wangle a discount on a damaged packet of Jammy Dodgers. He scoffed so hard at the shopkeeper’s unwillingness to knock money off that he triggered a booming, chesty coughing fit that set off car alarms and dogs barking all the way down the street. Locals still talk about it to this day.

What’s the last thing that made you laugh?

Greg, my partner, tucking his jumper into his trousers to keep warm when he took the dog out for her evening sniff last night. He always hikes them right up because it makes me chuckle. Simon Cowell would approve. Greg, however, will not be happy I’ve shared this little nugget.

What’s the last thing that made you cry?

The news, most days.

Write me dictionary definition entries for ‘Wilcock’s Lexicofantabulous Compendium of Oddities and Soddities’:

Can I just say, it was very hard not to make all three of these extremely rude.

1) Dizzwizzle
The tingling sensation up your nose and across your scalp when you take an over-ambitious mouthful of English mustard or wasabi

2) Plumsnuff
An old, red-trouser-wearing aristocratic man with the sniffles

3) Mendosa’s Pocket
Suspiciously warm patches of water in a swimming pool

What would you do with your last tenner?

Invest in crypto *types in sarcasm*

Make up your own question and tell me whatever you want to get off your chest.

Where do clients go when they ghost?

They’re doomed to wander this earthly plain for eternity, driven mad by their search for a world class writer that charges less than minimum wage. Their eerie cries of “great exposure” and “more work in the pipeline” can be heard at midnight on the first Monday of a new moon. To exorcise these demons you must draw a salt ring around your laptop and raise your rates by 10%.

Give me three reasons why I should let you go.

1) I’ve got a call with a new client in 5 minutes
2) The kettle has just boiled
3) It’s oeuf o’clock

And before I remove the shackles, tell us where we can find you online.

My website: www.felicitywild.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/flickwild

LinkedIn (if you must): https://www.linkedin.com/in/felicity-wild/

OK Felicity, it’s ouch o’clock, so get off my rack before I turn it up to 11!